Wednesday, January 19, 2011

panic time!

So, I'm planning on leaving my bar job next month for the joys and terrors of running my own business and being my own boss. I'm TERRIFIED, but I'm also confident that I can make this work. I'm comfortable with my pricing, my items are different than anything else I've seen in the local markets, but more than anything it's the feeling I get when I sit down to a table full of new supplies. It's this overwhelming joyous contentment, the fact that no matter what I have to do later or tomorrow, I have several hours with my tools and at the end of those hours I will have created new art, something that someone out there has been waiting and waiting to find.

The past few years have shown me that I'll never be truly happy working under another person. I have too much pride and stubbornness and too little regard for authority. I know I have the drive and discipline to make this happen, but it might be a struggle. If it was just me, I might not be so worried, but doctor boyfriend hasn't been making a bundle of money at his job and I'm doing a lot of the bill-paying and food-buying these days.

I figure I'll need to clear 600 a week, gross, to net enough to live on. When I've done these markets in the past I've made anywhere from 40 to 300 dollars in a day, with less-than desirable tent spots and an equally iffy booth setup. it's an incredibly variable venue, but things can only get better with improved displays, and I'd like to double my inventory. I waver madly back and forth between doubt, panic, and confidence that i really CAN do this, that I can be my own boss at 24 and be happy and fulfilled doing what I love. Even if I fail miserably and have to crawl back to the bar industry, I'll know that I did my best, and that I learned enough to try again when the opportunity presents itself. 

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